The Talking Heads tour that became the “Stop Making Sense” album, movie, and video arrived at Forest Hills Tennis Stadium on Saturday, August 21, 1982. My then girlfriend, and future bride, went to see the show at this historic venue set in the middle of a Queens neighborhood not too far from my wife’s parents’ Elmhurst apartment. The jam packed stadium was not built for a hard partying rock audience and the archaic bathroom facilities were struggling to handle the crowds. While we were sitting in our seats toward the upper right of the stage, I felt the need to hit the bathroom but did not want to miss the beginning of the Talking Heads set. I noticed that a steady stream of guys were walking to the very top of the aisle in the upper corner and clearly relieving themselves over the side one at a time. Nobody stopped them, or seemed to mind, so I decided that this would clearly be a more viable option than heading back down into the cavernous underbelly of the stadium to find a rest room that was likely packed. I made my way up to the top, unzipped while looking for any possibility of interruption, and began to urinate onto the leaves of a tree below. I was there for what seemed awhile, and for what turned out to be clearly too long. When finished, I pulled ip my zipper, turned to go back down the stairs, when I saw a security guard with freshly combed soaken wet head walking up toward me. Unbeknownst to me, this guard had been apparently standing underneath the tree that was beneath my steady stream, and he was not happy. Despite my protestations, he escorted me down the stairs and to the wrong side of the entrance; I had been tossed and my wife was none the wiser, waiting for me at the seat. There was no cell phone technology at the time, and no way to contact her; so I scrambled outside telling my tale of woe to anyone who would listen, until I found a security person who unbelievably let me back into the stadium (good luck trying that today). I made my way back in and the lights went down for the Talking Heads to hit the stage just as my rear end hit the seat. I vaguely remember David Byrne onstage dancing with a lamp and the ride home on Queens Boulevard is memorable for a stuffed animal being thrown out of the driver window during an argument with my wife.
Life During Wartime
Rock on!
GQ