I took some heat from an acquaintance about my referring to myself as having no “gaydar” in my first Queen blog. It certainly was not meant as a slight to anyone but was merely a dig at myself. The reality is I did not realize that Freddy Mercury was gay until he announced that he was dying of AIDS as it never mattered to me one way or another before then.
When Mercury announced to the world that he was sick it shocked most everyone at the time and the sight of the somewhat emaciated star, who was now a shell of his former self, was sad.
When I was about 24 years old I was working for Chase Manhattan Bank in the retail division and I went to visit my father’s cousin Martin, who at the same time, was working for Chase’s corporate headquarters as a middle manager.
I did not like retail banking so I contacted my father’s cousin for advice on how to navigate the company.
On his invitation, I went to Cousin Martin’s apartment in Brooklyn which was a renovated brownstone; it was a magnificent residence and with him was a woman older than I who may have been some distant relation of mine also. Nothing really came of the meeting career-wise but less than a couple of years later my father told me that Martin was sick and we were going to visit him at the hospital.
Even though my father grew up on Amsterdam Avenue in Manhattan he rarely left the confines of Flushing, Queens however we traveled to a hospital on the east side of Manhattan to see his sick cousin.
Somehow my father had been told before we left home to see him that Martin had contracted the AIDS virus but the gravity of the situation did not become apparent to us until we saw him.
When we arrived at his room, Martin was laying in a hospital bed and there was a young friend at his bedside next to him apparently holding vigil.
Martin appeared to be very weak and I remember that he had some visible sores. My father is a man of few words and I do not think he and Martin had seen each other in years, but Martin was family and there were not a lot of us to support him as we are a small clan.
The AIDS epidemic was in full swing and many may have avoided interacting with its victims and perhaps placing themselves in a seemingly precarious situation with so much still not known at the time.
Many others may have abandoned their loved ones for fear and ignorance.
It felt like a wake and that we were paying our last respects. My father and I stayed only a short time but what I remember most from this visit was that my Dad was non-judgmental and he was not afraid to bring me with him.
Martin did not last long after our visit but I have always been glad that my father took me on that trip to visit a distant relative who was dying from a terrible disease and to offer a few simple words of support and familial kindness.
Freddy Mercury was the ultimate showman; he was flamboyant at a time when David Bowie, Elton John, and Mick Jagger ruled the rock universe. Androgyny in rock and roll was fully in vogue and many of the top rock stars of the day liked to keep the audience guessing as to their sexual orientation. Whether or not a performer was or is gay or bisexual is ultimately immaterial in the big scheme of things as success and longevity in the music business comes down to the quality of the music and live performance that the artist brings to the table.
Queen’s catalog is extraordinary and the band sounds as unique today as when the songs were first released. Queen is not unlike The Beatles in that the band surpassed the production values of other artists of the time and recorded entire albums of all time classic rock and roll music.
The Show Must Go On
GQ